XX - Adult Puns!

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over.
He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the
wheel, and there was a strong smell of liquor on her breath.
He said,
"I'm going to give you a Breathalyzer test to determine if you are
under the influence of alcohol."
She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car.
After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said,
"It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She turned red, and replied,
"You mean it shows that, too?"

Guys are like roses,
Just watch out for the pricks.

One day Little Johnny got curious and asked his mother,
"Where do white babies come from?"
His mother answered
"The stork."
Little Johnny then asked,
"Where do black babies come from?"
His mother replied,
"Ravens."
Then, Little Johnny asked,
"Where do no babies come from?"
And his mother said,
"Swallows."

Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society;
But always remember who laid them!

The new paint called "Blonde" is not very bright,
But it spreads easy.

My wife has worked as a magician's assistant for years now.
I think she has picked up a few tricks.
I came home from work early today and she was in the bedroom.
She said, "Abracadabra!" and my buddy, Dave, came out of the closet,
stark naked. Poor bastard must have wondered what the hell was going
on.

The church is now forming a Little Mothers Club.
All women desiring to become Little Mothers are asked to meet with the
pastor in his study after services.