XX - Adult Puns!

The most romantic thing you can say to someone in a gay bar is:
"May I move your stool?"

"So, he asked, 'Would you be interested in a threesome?'"
"OH, NO! What did you tell him?"
"I said, "I might. 'Whom did you have in mind?'
'He replied, 'Your pretty little friend Jill!'
'I said,
'That's too bad because I was thinking more along the lines of your
gorgeous, hunky friend Jerry, who I know for a fact has 10 and a half
inches to offer!'"

On her eighteenth birthday Bambi went down to a stag bar and blew a few bucks.

Rabbi Levy is addressing the 'Enlighten Your Daughter' meeting of the
synagogue women's guild.
"Ladies," he says, "I'm sure some of you know by now that the
unfortunate Jonathan Bloom has been sent to prison for making love to
his wife Sadie's dead body."
A number of 'Oy Vays' are heard from the ladies present.
"You might also be interested to know," the Rabbi goes on to say,
"that I spoke to Jonathan yesterday and I now firmly believe that his
actions were entirely innocent and accidental. So, although we are all
feeling sorry for Jonathan, there is a lesson to be learned. Ladies,
go back home to your daughters and tell them that when making love
with a good Jewish husband, they should please make a little wiggle."

How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?
You call them up and tell them you can't come.

A certain guy had never had sex in his life,
So, his friend tells him that he'll take him to a girl who will teach
him a few things.
He agrees.
Later that week, he's in a motel room with the girl.
She takes off her clothes, and asks him,
"Do you know what I want?"
He says, quite honestly,
"No."
She lies down on the bed, and asks him the same question again.
Again, he answers,
"No."
Now, she's not sure exactly what to do,
So, she spreads her legs all the way; we're talking spread-eagle.
She asks,
"Now do you know what I want?"
He answers,
"Yeah. You want the whole damn bed to yourself.

"Premature ejaculation"
A man younger than 18 having sex.

Woman asks:
"If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut.
But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man.
How come?"
Confucius replies:
It's very simple.
Confucius says
"When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock.
But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a master key."

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends would touch her stomach and say:
"Congrats!!"
But none of them would touch the man's penis and say:
"Good job".
Moral of the story:
Hard work is rarely appreciated

Girls say they like a sensitive man,
But then they complain about my premature ejaculation.