Morning Jokes.

The Laws of Golf, Part I
LAW 1:
No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come.
This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the
supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a
summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2:
Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your
worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the
number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3:
Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.
Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the
more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4:
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play.
If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5:
No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing
partners must solemnly chant "You looked up" or else invoke the wrath
of the universe.
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The Laws of Golf, Part II
LAW 6:
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as
an instructor.
LAW 7:
Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.
The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8:
Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9:
Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10:
Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?
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The Laws of Golf, Part III
LAW 11:
Golf carts always run out of power at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12:
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in
your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist
of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer
and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13:
All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14:
Golf balls from the same sleeve tend to follow one another,
particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law 3).
LAW 15:
A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
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The Laws of Golf, Part IV
LAW 16:
"Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt."
Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an
easy one, sucker."
LAW 17:
The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18:
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score
to what it really should be.
LAW 19:
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20:
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until sunset.