XX - Adult Puns!

The vote on a bill to legalize bisexuality could go either way?

A window cleaner goes to a monastery looking for work.
The Abbot hires him but tells him to clean all the windows except the top three.
So, the window cleaner cleans all the windows except the top three for
years and years until curiosity finally gets the better of him.
He puts his ladder up against the first of the three windows and looks in.
He sees 12 monks with their robes up and their cocks lying on a table
with a mouse running around on top of the table.
The window cleaner goes down the ladder moves to the second window and
looks in. There he sees a beautiful woman and a monk in bed screwing
like mad.
The window cleaner goes down the ladder and puts it up against the third window.
He looks in and sees a monk tied up, stripped to the waist being flogged.
He climbs down the ladder, but when he gets to the bottom the Abbot is
waiting for him. The window cleaner says,
"Look, I know your going to fire me, but please, at least tell me what
is going on up there."
"Well," says the Abbot, "in the first window you saw a competition to
see which is the lucky monk. Wherever the mouse stops is the lucky
monk. And in the second window you saw a monk with the prize."
"But what about the third window?" the window cleaner asks.
"Well," says the Abbot, "that monk was caught with a piece of cheese
in his foreskin."

Judy the blonde runs crying into the office.
"Whatever is wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
"It's my boyfriend Paul, the Porsche Driver" gushes Judi.
"He was working on the engine under the hood of his 911 when the lid
came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god" shrieks Carol.
"Did it amputate his whole finger!? "
 "No thank goodness" sniffs Judi."But it was the one just next to it!"

If American ancestors came over on a boat, how did herpes come over?
On the Captain's dingy.