X Mild Adult Jokes.

Hmmmmm!
Don't question authority..... It hasn't got a clue!

~~~~~~~~~~
Determined to have one last, lazy day of fishing before summer's end,
I purposely ignored the leaky faucet and the broken gate--household
projects that had awaited me all summer. When my wife asked, "What are
you going to do today?" I grinned and answered, "It starts with F and
ends with ISH."
"Oh, good," she replied. "You're finally going to FinISH up those projects!

~~~~~~~~~~
Well, we've all been there - both the guys and the gals, and today
it's even more confusing than ever. So, here is a little guide to help
you out.

1. If you ask a girl to have sex with her and she says "definitely
not," she really means "NO."
2. If she says "NO," then you have to do better, and then maybe, but
make sure you ask again before going to far and then go back to number
#1 and start again. (kinda like Monopoly "Go back to GO - Do do
collect $200).
3. If she says "MAYBE", she means "YES", but you have to really
encourage her along the way. But don't do anything stupid such as
rushing things or being clumsy. This may convert the MAYBE to a
DEFINITE NO, which neither of you really want.
4. If she says "YES", she's probably not worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up,
looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and
speed, driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so
long? Hit the darned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance of hitting her from here."

~~~~~~~~~~
A guy comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a
stranger on top of his wife.
He says, "What are you two doing?"
His wife turns to the stranger and says, "See? I told you he was stupid.

~~~~~~~~~~
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a man, complete
with tools, on the front porch.
"Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner." The lady exclaimed,
"Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner." The man replied, "No, but your
neighbours did."

~~~~~~~~~
Hmmmmm!
It's easy to spot the smart people . . . They're the ones listening.