Computer Terms

State-of-the-art -
Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete -
Any computer you own.

Microsecond -
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

GUI -
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
(Pronounced "gooey").

Keyboard -
The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse -
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Portable Computer -
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home,
On vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash -
A typical computer response to any critical dead-line.

System Update -
A quick method of trashing ALL of your soft-ware.