Quick Laughs

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the
neighbour's pet rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbours are going to hate him forever,
So, he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a
bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at
the neighbour's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural
causes.
A few days later, the neighbour is outside and asks the guy,
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stumbles around and says,
"Um.. No.. Um.. What happened?"
The neighbour replies,
"We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is
that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug
him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be
some real sick people out there!"

~~~~~~~~~~
At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night.
One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older
woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain
young lady immediately.
"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."
"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman. "But think of how
surprised I am! I'm her mother!"
~~~~~~~~~~
A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one day.
"Why do you need so much milk?" the mailman asks.
The lady replies,
"I heard that taking baths in milk makes you healthier and prettier."
The milkman asks,
"Would you like the milk pasteurised
She answers,
"No, just up to the neck".
~~~~~~~~~~
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
The bartender says,
"What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says,
"Arrr! I've got a bounty on me head!"