Morning Jokes.

Sociology
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to
some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be
seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned
and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"

~~~~~~~~~~
Building Rome
Marilyn, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was
Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.
"Rome was built at night." was his answer.
"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her
boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"
"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her,
"Everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

~~~~~~~~~~
Did You Hear About The?
*
Brake company on the skids?
*
Bra manufacturers that went bust?
*
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
*
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
*
Baker who was short of dough?
*
Refrigerator manufacturer that had it's assets frozen?
*
Corset firm that felt the squeeze?
*
Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?
*
Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
*
Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
*
Downfall of the bungee suppliers?
*
The train company that went off the rails?
*
The ship building company that sunk?
*
The dental practice that was rotten to its roots?

~~~~~~~~~~
Throwing Watches
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided
to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to
catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had
taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps
before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs,
bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big
Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."