XX - Adult Puns!

A woman teacher asked a zoo keeper during a zoo visit with her 4th grade class,
"What is the difference between the North American porcupine and the
African porcupine ?"
"The principal difference between them Miss," the attendant replied,
"is that the North American species has a longer prick."
The teacher fled in distress and anger to the Administration Building
where the Chief Curator attempted to mollify her.
"I apologize for my staff Miss." he said. "It was an unfortunate
choice of terms. What the keeper should have told your children is
that the North American porcupine has a longer quill. Their pricks are
pretty much the same size."

While on her honeymoon, Dorothy Parker was interrupted by her New
Yorker editor, Harold Ross, who was asking after a late book review.
"Too fxxking busy," Parker replied, "and vice versa."

After noticing a beautiful young blonde sitting on her own in a pub, a
suave, sophisticated young man confidently strolled over to the table
where she was sitting and said:
"What can I get you, gorgeous?"
The woman blushed and replied:
"If you're sure you don't mind, I'll have a large stiff one, please."
The man smiled, casually leaned over the table, and whispered into the
woman's ear: "Would that be before or after I've got the drinks?

TRIPLETS -
Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.

An American businessman is in Japan.
The Japanese businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him
upstairs with a hooker.
As he's fucking her, she starts screaming,
"Nashagai Ana! Nashagai Ana!"
He's going,
"Yeah, baby, take it all..."
He keeps pumping, and she keeps screaming,
"Nashagai Ana! Nashagai Ana!"
The next day, he's playing golf with one of the Japanese guys, and he
slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right.
The Japanese businessman says,
"Nashagai Ana."
The American asks,
"What does that mean?"
The Japanese replies,
"Wrong hole."

The man brought the girl back to his apartment, took off his clothes, and said,
"I'd like you to meet my little friend."
She took a look, gathered up her clothes, then said,
"Call me when it grows up."

A zoo acquires a female gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla becomes very ornery, and difficult to handle.
The vet determines she is in heat, but there is no male gorilla available.
The zoo administrators approach Mike, who cleans animal cages.
Mike, while not very bright, is rumoured to be extremely well endowed.
They ask:
"Would you be willing to screw this gorilla for five hundred bucks?"
"Well, let me think it over and I'll let you know tomorrow. "
The next day, Mike says:
"I'll do it, but only under three conditions.
First, I don't want to have to kiss her.
Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result.
Third, I need another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."

Every Amish woman's private fantasy is two Mennonite!

Two women were having coffee, when one said,
"I used to call my ex 'Superman' when we were in bed."
The second commented,
"How flattering!" to which the first replied,
"Not really! I meant that he was faster than a speeding bullet."

Most men prefer Dial soap because Dial spelled backwards is extreme happiness.