XX - Adult Puns!

The dumbest part of a mans body is his penis.
It hangs out with a couple of nuts, lives next door to an ass-hole and
his best friend is a pussy!

Why is it that a woman can guide a 1.5" diameter penis into an inch
diameter vagina in pitch black darkness without looking and cannot
park a 6 foot car in a 7 foot parking spot in broad daylight?

Little Johnny is sleeping in bed when his mother comes along and says:
"Rise and shine Little Johnny, time to wake up."
Little Johnny replies,
"Five more minutes mum."
His mother decides to give him five more minutes.
So, she goes down the stairs and starts cooking breakfast.
After five minutes Little Johnny comes down the stairs and is crying
uncontrollably. "What's wrong Little Johnny?" asks his mother.
"I had a wet dream last night," Little Johnny replied.
His mother is surprised, but keeps her composure.
"That's nothing to cry over, is it Little Johnny?" she says.
"Of course it bloody is," says Little Johnny. "If anyone ever asks me
what I said after my first orgasm, I'll have to tell them five more
minutes, mom!'"

Mary was walking down the street and she saw a sign on a fabric store
window that said 'Felt For $0.25 Per Foot'
Mary just laughed and laughed,  because she knew that she could get
felt for free.

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons.
She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a
sign on them saying "5 Boxes $1"
Well, the woman just could not believe this price.
So, she asks the clerk if it was correct.
He said,
"Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."
She said,
"That can't be right!"
The clerk says,
"Oh yes, it's right! Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite.
"Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist.
"Only one," replies the groom. "She won't take it up the ass."

There was a little boy standing in the bathroom of a store.
Watching an older man pee in a urinal, the little boy said,
"My daddy has two of those."
The man asked,
"Your daddy has two penises?"
The little boy replied,
"Yes. He has a small one for peeing, and a big one he chases momma
around the house with."

A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.