XX Adult Puns!

There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"

Wives are funny creatures.
They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want
to kill the woman who does.

A foreign man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way.
He calls the bartender over and in a thick accent and somewhat broken
English says,
"I like to buy those ladies drinks."
The bartender replies,
"It won't do you any good."
The foreign man, with a confused look on his face says,
"Not matter, I want buy those women drinks."
So, the bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and they
acknowledge the drinks with a nod of their heads.
About a half hour later, the man approaches the women and says,
"I like to buy two drink more for you ladies."
The women both reply,
"It won't do you any good."
The foreign man says,
"Me not understand. What you mean 'won't do me any good'?"
The first woman says,
"We're lesbians."
To which the foreign man asks,
"Lesbians? What is a lesbians?"
To which the second woman replies,
"Lesbians... We like to lick pussy."
The foreign man yells,
"Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

Sex is like drugs.
The quality depends on the pusher.

A Southern Cal football star was suffering from constipation.
So, his doctor prescribed suppositories.
A week later the Trojan complained to the doctor that they didn't
produce the desired results.
"Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.
"What do you think I've been doing," the star player said, "shoving
them up my ass?"