XX - ADULT PUNS!

Many are those who sow their wild oats Saturday night,
Then, on Sunday morning go to pray for crop failure.

The editor of a small town daily and a cub reporter were discussing
the opening of a new nudist colony in the area.
This one was unique in that was designed for use by PWD [People with
Disabilities] including user friendly accommodations for PWD sun
bathers who required cane, walkers and wheelchairs to get participate
in their activities.
The editor told the young man that this would be a perfect day for him
to go out and do a story on the place.
The reported asked,
"Why is today perfect, boss?"
The editor answered,
"That should be obvious."
"Nothing's happening here in town, and not much on the wires... Or, in
other words, it's a slow nudes day."

A young women visited her eye doctor complaining of failing eyesight.
The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart.
Doctor:
"Can you read the bottom line?"
Girl:
"No." "Can you read the centre line?"
"No."
"Can you read the large top line"
"No."
"Can you even see the chart?"
"No."
The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penis out of his pants.
"Can you see this?"
"Of course!"
"Well, there's your problem - you're cock-eyed!"

A slutty girl is flirting with 2 guys in a chat room.
The first guy asks,
"What state are you from?"
While at the same time the second guy asks,
"What do you do for a living?"
To satisfy them both,
She replies,
"Idaho."

Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys.

A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars.
The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so
recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.
"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and
stick it completely up your ass. Then remove it, re wrap it, and place
it back with all the others in such a fashion as you can't tell which
one it is. The aversion is obvious: you won't dare smoke any of them,
not knowing which is the treated cigar."
"Thanks doc, I'll try it."
And he did.
But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again.
"What? My recommendation didn't work? It was supposed to be effective
even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours!"
"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my
addiction," said the patient.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, I don't smoke cigars anymore, but now I can't go to sleep at
night unless I have a cigar shoved up my ass."

Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
Only came in male boxes.

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighbourhood.
"But he acts so stupid," said one to the other.
"I think he must have his brains between his legs."
"Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."

"How many women did you have oral sex with last night, Caesar?"
"Et TU, Brutus."

Miss Fiske, a crusty university professor, was known for her strictness.
One day, upon exiting her classroom, she saw a young female student
open her purse, pull out a cigarette, and light up.
"Young woman," she said in a stern voice, "I would rather commit
fornication than press a cigarette to my lips."
"So would I," replied the student, "but there's only 10 minutes
between classes."

Define "Vice versa":
Dirty poetry from Italy.