XX - Adult Puns!

What are the advantages of having an affair with a married woman?
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell
And
There are no wedding bells!

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball.
Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over
his head and passes the three women.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his unit.
"He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his member.
"He's not my husband either," she says, also not recognizing the unit.
He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

The difference between a woman taking a shower and a nun is
The nun has hope in her soul.

Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
You never get to prove it.

Monica Lewinsky came to the White House as a naive and shy young women,
But left with a bad taste in her mouth.

One day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class,
"Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another.
No one knows.
Finally, Little Johnny sticks up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for
foul language and sexual inuendo, looks for another student to ask.
Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says,
"Yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it's means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says,
"Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mom say, 'that's
lovely'. Dad replied to her, 'Yep, it's in different.'"