A good old Irish chuckle

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
__________

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him, "Did you find the shampoo?"

Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
__________

Paddy and Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.

Mick says, "What if one explodes before we get there?"

Paddy:  "We'll lie and say we only found two."
__________

The Irish have solved their fuel problems.  They've imported 50
million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their
own oil.
__________

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing
with himself in front of a tractor.  Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what in
hell d'yis t'ink yer doing?"

Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom
lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to
attracter....."
__________

Joe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging
your wife.  The whole street was watching and laughing at you
yesterday."

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."