MORNING JOKES

Political Quotes
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"I resent your insinuendoes."
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"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."
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"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
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"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially
Members of the House and members of the Senate." -- Dan Quayle
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"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
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"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what
Newspapers can report."
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"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
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Politician's Blathering
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"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."
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"To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility."
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"I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators."
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"If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there."
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"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."
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"Let's do this in one foul swoop."
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"I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished
yourselves in this session."
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"We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
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Jawboning
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"Outside of the killings in Washington DC, we have one of the lowest
crime rates in the nation." --
Marion Berry
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"I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks."
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"The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13."
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"I hate to confuse myself with the facts."
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"We have a permanent plan for the time being."
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"Family planning has many misconceptions."
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Working Hard at Saying Nothing
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"The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter
if it goes through or around the city."
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"My knowledge is no match for his ignorance."
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"As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear
suppository in our state."
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"These numbers are not my own;
They are from someone who knows what he's talking about."
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"People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their
seat belts on."
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"In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."