The Best Smart Ass Answers

SMART ASS ANSWER #6

It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,'
the officer said..
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right
in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up
for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck,
huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
A BONUS EXTRA

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.