Long live Bachelors

- Marriage is a three-ring circus:
--engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows
Why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone
Wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

-
When a man opens the door of his car ofr his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding

  her way back to home always.
--Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She
said,"Some where I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then  the mud fell off.
--Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous

Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs....."
--Anonymous

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the
frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... At least he'll shut up after you let him in!
 --Anonymous

A couple came upon a wishing well.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not
the only thing in life!!
--Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
your wife will give you for free.
--Anonymous

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't,
they'd be married too.
--H. L. Mencken

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken

"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."
- U2