Morning Jokes ...

Teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my
head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red
in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then, why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."
~~~~~~~~~~
License Plate
While driving with my daughter and her husband, I noticed that the
woman in the car ahead of us had a rather odd vanity plate.
"That's weird," I said, pointing to it. "Why would anyone want to
boast about mold on their car?"
"Call me crazy," said my son-in-law after deciphering the phrase, "but
I believe that reads 'FUN-GAL.'"
~~~~~~~~~~
Cheque book
Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's cheque book, Mike made a
deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few
hours trying to wrestle it into shape.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and
figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!"
Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... Mortgage
550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read
the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?"
"Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Ad Campaign
I saw a new local ad campaign being run for the northern snow birds by
our county tourist board. Against a drop dead sunset beach picture, it
reads:
Come to the SW coast of Florida this winter for your family vacation!
It's got everything...
Sand for the children, fishing galore for Dad, sun for the wife, and
plenty of sharks for the mother-in-law.

What are the similarities of BAR & BRA

1.  Both words have the same letters
2.  Both are drinking zones
3.  Both have restricted timing for opening & closing
4.  More importantly, both makes men crazy when open.