QUICKIES

Rosey wanted her husband to stop smoking so she sent him to the doctor.
The doctor gave him a box of these patches and said to use one a day.
He said ok, and took them home. Rosey asked him what the doctor said
and he showed her the patches and told her that the doctor said to use
one patch a day.
Rosey commenced to sew one patch on each shirt he had.
Both of them are still trying to figure out how that's going to help
him quit smoking.
~~~~~~~~~~
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
~~~~~~~~~~
One of the workers on my construction crew didn't show up for work on
Monday, and he didn't phone to explain his absence. On Tuesday
morning, though, he did call. "I won't be able to make it to work
today," he said, "or yesterday."