XX - Magic Penis

            A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip,
so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.  He
went to a sex shop and explained his situation.  The man there said, '
Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied
for so many weeks, except... the Magic Penis!'

            The husband said, 'The what'?

            The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,'  and pulled out what
seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

            The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

            The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis,  door!'

            The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and
started pounding away at the keyhole.  The whole door shook wildly
with vibrations, so much so,  that a crack began to form down the
middle.
            Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the
penis stopped and returned to the box.

            The husband bought it and took it home to his wife and
explained to her how to use it.

            After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife
remembered the Magic Penis.  She undressed, opened the box and said
'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

            The penis shot to her crotch.  It was absolutely
incredible.  After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very
exhausted and decided she'd had enough.  She tried to pull it out, but
it was stuck.  Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it
off, so she put her clothes on, got in her car and set off to the
closest hospital.

             On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her
swerve all over the road.  A Police Officer saw this and immediately
pulled her over.  He asked for her licence, and then asked how much
she'd had to drink.

            Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had
anything to drink officer.  You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing
stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'

            The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and
replied, 'Yeah right...  Magic Penis, my arse...!!!!!!!!!!'

            The rest, as they say, is history...