The Irish Father...

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.  Upon her
return, her Father cursed her heavily.
'Where have ye been all this time, child?   Why did ye not write to
us, not even a line?   Why didn't ye call?   Can ye not understand
what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!   You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad, as ye wish.   I just came back to give mom this luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million
savings certificate.  For me little brother, this gold Rolex.   And
for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible
that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club... (takes
a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on
board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'Now, what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half  to death, girl!   I thought ye said
a Protestant!   Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!'