some more Uduruwana jokes
This happened when Udurawana's 4th child was born. He fills data in
the birth certificate.
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sri LAnkan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that the every 4th
person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
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2)
Udurawana rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had
purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago.
"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But Sir, there
is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered
politely.
"Don't fool me," replied udurawana, "it is clearly written on the
packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free' but you gave me only butter".
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3)
Udurawana: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know my blood group.
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4)
Mr Udurawana, though a strong Buddhist, enjoyed reading the Bible
immensely. One day, after reading the bible, our good friend was
visibly upset and this was noticed by his wife too. She was curious to
know as to what had made her so upset.
After wiping his tears, Mr Udurawana explained to his wife the cause
of his grief. "see dear....I never expected the end of such a noble
personality to be so tragic and miserable. Do you know that he died in
a gunny bag?" Mrs U-Rawana, the better educated of the two knew that
her husband has blundered somwhere again.
She grabbed the the bible from her husband and began to read it. To
her amusement, she found the last sentence therein which read as
".........Thus the Jesus Christ died in agony."
Our good friend had read it as "Thus the Jesus Christ died in a gony"
(Gony in Sinhala means gunny bag).
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5)
Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot
guns. Udurawana messed up everything and he forgot to get licence. On
the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri, the place where licence are
issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get
licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of
hearing " licence for what???" Udurawana said "gun... gun... You dont
know gun? G for Gesus (Jesus) U for urope (Europe) N for numonia
(Pneumonia)?"
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6)
Once Uduravana wanted to know the time difference between UK and USA.
So he called up the Tourist Board and asked them "Could you tell me
the time difference between UK & USA" The man at the other end replies
"One second sir..." and Uduravana immediately replies "Thank you" and
puts the phone down.
