Jest a few laffs on a lazy Sunday morning!!

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colours, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.
More Thoughts On Aging.

- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way
through Parliament.

- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get
it started.

- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling,
and you didn't do anything the night before.

- The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

- Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is
that you are not a hypochondriac.

- It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

- You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

- Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

- When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask
yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down
there.

- You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't
remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.
You are a Nerd If...

- If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

- If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal

- If you have more toys than your kids

- If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

- If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

- If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

- If your I.Q. Number is bigger than your weight

- If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you
rush up to the front to fix it
- If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

- If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery
channel and have seen most of the shows already

Grandpa's Libido.

"You're in remarkable shape for a man your age," said the doctor to
the ninety-year old man after the examination.
"I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one
complaint - my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for
that, Doc?"
The doctor's mouth dropped open.
"Your what?!" he gasped.
"My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have
you lower it if you can."
"Lower it?!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the
ninety-year old gentleman was saying.
"Just what do you consider 'high'?"
"These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man,
"and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."

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Weird Fact of the Day:
A volcano has enough power to shoot ash as high as 50 km into the atmosphere.