an Irish daughter

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon
Her return, her father cursed her.

Where have you been all this time? Why did you not write to us,
Not even a line? Why didn't you call? Can you not understand what
You put your old mum thrugh?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a
prostitute..."

"You what!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this family."

"OK, Dad -- as you wish.

I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed
To a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5
million."

"For my little brother, this gold Rolex and for you daddy, the
sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked
outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a
breath)... And an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve
on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."

"Now what was it you said you had become?"
says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff,
sniff.

"Oh! Darling! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you
said a Protestant.

Come here and give your old man a hug."