Quotes

a.. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. (Albert Einstein)

a.. The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning.
b.. and does not stop until you get into the office. (Robert Frost)

a.. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. (Franklin P. Jones)

a.. We must believe in luck.
b.. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? - (Jean Cocturan)

a.. It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday.
b.. always just exactly fits the newspaper.- (Jerry Seinfeld)

a.. It matters not whether you win or lose;
b.. what matters is whether I win or lose. (Darrin Weinberg)

a.. Life is pleasant.
b.. Death is peaceful.
c.. It's the transition that's troublesome."

a.. Help a man when he is in trouble and
b.. he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

a.. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

a.. It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

a.. Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised. (no offense ladies!!)

a.. Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know Where to shop.

a.. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

a.. Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

a.. The number of people watching you is directly
b.. proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Q: The 69 position is like driving in rush hour, the assssshole is always in front of you!

Q: Advantages of having an affair with a married woman.
A:They give like hell. They do not yell. They do not tell. They do not swell and there are no wedding bells!

Q: My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in Paradise. Why?
A:Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.