Fwd: Jokaroo!

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME!

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savour, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humour, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, cuddle, excite, pacify, protect, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, phone, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt and worship, and then go back, and do it again.

HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME!

Show up naked!!

 

 

 Mommy........What Is Courting?

One day little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom about courting. Flustered, she replied,

"Tonight go watch your sister when she comes home with her boyfriend. That's courting."

The next day, Johnny tells his mother what happened.

"Well, Sis and her boyfriend came home last night and sat on the couch.

They started kissing and stuff and I think sis was getting sick because she kept making faces.

Her boyfriend must have thought so to, because he started feeling for her heartbeat like the doc.

He wasn't as good as the Dr. though, he missed an awful lot.

That's when the fever started.

I know it was a fever because sis said she was really hot.

Then her boyfriend ripped off her blouse and bra, and I saw why he couldn't get to her heart, there were these big bumps on her chest!

He then rips off her skirt and undies and she has grown a lot of hair there, she should clean it more often.

I guess her boyfriend thought so to because he started sucking there, licking and using his fingers.

Then, sis yelled out to God and unzipped her boyfriend's pants.

This big snake jumped out and sis started to try and bite it's head off.

She stopped trying an then it squirted all over the couch.

Then sis took off his pants and sat on the snake, I think they were trying to squish it.

Sis started to bounce up and down on it.

She said it was nearly as big as Daddy's!

Suddenly, she stopped and said she wasn't on anything, but her boyfriend said it was too late.

They had both cum.

So, did I explain it right?"
His mom fainted!

 

 

Real blonde...!!!!;)

   
To prepare for his big date, a young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to get a little colour for himself. 
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. 
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get sunburned on his "tool of the trade".

Being very determined the young man decided not to miss his date because it was with a hot blonde. 
So, he decided to put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should resolve his painful situation.

The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. 
During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up. 

After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cold glass of milk.

He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. 
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his "Johnson" immersed in a glass of milk. 

Baffled the blonde exclaimed,

"So, THAT'S how you load those things!"