Long long time ago, before he got married, Kanjibhai was travelling from
Ahmedabad to Bombay by train.
Rupaben was also travelling in the same compartment except that they both didn't know
each other in the beginning.
Once they started talking, they realized they both had a lot in common.
Both were Single.
Both were Gujaratis.
Both were going to Bombay.
Both were School teachers.
Both were starting a new job at the Mithibai College.
They seemed to hit it off well and decided to be roommates in Bombay and made a pact
that they would do everything together.
So, they lived in the same house, travelled to the college together on Kanjibhai's scooter,
had lunch in the staff room together, returned home together.
They were watching the TV together, eating dinner together and were also sharing the
same bedroom and ... EVEN sharing the same bed.
The only problem was Rupaben was placing a pillow between them at bedtime, much to the
frustration of Kanjibhai; who ended up spending many sleepless nights with this most
desirable beauty besides him, separated by the pillow.
Kanjibhai's frustration had built up to such an extent that he could take it no more, and
ended up deciding to drink.
So, one day he took off from the college leaving Rupaben on her own.
She was quite upset, but made it home by auto rickshaw.
The pact had been broken so she decided not to open the door for Kanjibhai when he
got home drunk at about 2 AM.
Kanjibhai knocked on the door for about 20 minutes and pleaded with his room mate to let
him in.
After listening to his crap for 20 minutes, Rupaben said,
"Where the hell did you disappear today? We decided to do everything together!
Now you better sleep outside"
Kanjibhai:
"I will jump over the wall and come in if you don't open the door right now!"
Rupaben,
"Huve reva de reva de, chaar mahina thaya... tu to pillow ni upar thi jump na karisaiko.. to deewal upar thi su jump karvano!
(English Translation:
Oh forget it, for four months you couldn't jump over the pillow; how could jump
over the wall now?!!!
KUTTAPAN, The MALAYALEE.......
Kuttappan was bragging to his Boss one day,
"You know..... I know everyone there is to know. J
ust name someone, anyone important, and I'm sure I will know them."
Tired of his boasting, his Boss called his bluff.
"OK, Kuttappan, how about Tom Cruise?"
Kuttappan replies,
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So, Kuttappan and his Boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and
sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts,
"Hey Kutz!! Great to see you!
You and your friend must come in and join me for lunch!"
They have a blast of a time!
Katie Holmes even personally packs 2 sets of Masala Dosas, which is of course
specially made by their South Indian chef.
They bid each other farewell.
Although impressed, Kuttappan's Boss is still sceptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan's knowing
Cruise was just lucky.
Kuttappan says,
"No, no, you go ahead and just name anyone else."
"President Bush!" his Boss quickly retorts.
Kuttappan says,
"Yes, OK, but I am telling you I don't like him very much, he is very cunning, anyway let's fly
out to Washington."
And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his Boss over,
saying,
"Kuttans!
What a surprise!!
I was just on my way to a meeting.
The CIA just informed me Osama is heading for the Pakistan Border.
Hey Kuttans, are you still on speaking terms with Osama?
Maybe you could confirm the information for me?
Oh never mind!
You and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the Boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Kuttappan who
again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope!" his Boss replies.
"Sure! This I like, I've been meaning to see him, he is not keeping too well y'know"
says Kuttappan.
"And I have a lot of friends in Vatican; it's like my second home!
And me and the Pope go back a long way, surely this will be a good trip"
So, off they fly to Rome.
Kuttappan and his Boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
Kuttappan says,
"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people.
Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on
the balcony with the Pope."
The Boss shakes his head unbelievably and says,
"Yeah right!!"
Still so, Kuttappan disappears into the crowd, headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Kuttappan emerges with the Pope on the balcony,
waves to the crowds with the Pope and takes leave.
But, by the time Kuttappan returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his Boss' side, Kuttappan asks him,
"What happened?"
His Boss looks up and says,
"I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me
said, and who's that fellow on the balcony with Kuttappan?"
MORAL OF THE STORY-
Don't, ever underestimate a Malayalee!!!
