XXX - Jokes - the colorful variety

A cardiologist marries a gynecologist and were
blessed with twin girls. Guess what they name them - Angina and
Vagina.
*****

Two sperms are swimming really hard and one
asks, "Are we almost at uterus?." "Nah!" says the other, "we just
passed the tonsil".

**** A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a
bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake". "Oh
no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been raped".

**** A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing
this she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I
told you not to go doggy style".

*****

Man went to the chemist to buy one fourth
Viagra. Chemist said that it would be useless. Man said, "I am 70,
sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".

*****

Secretary said publicly that you have a small
penis, would you comment on this? "The truth is that she
has a big mouth".

******

A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big
fart after making love.
She said, "Aww, so sorry... exkooz me pleazo,Front
hole so happy back  hole laugh out loud".

*****

What is common between a swimming pool and a
wife - for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we
spend in them.

****

Love is a complicated machinery.But sometimes
all you need is a good screw to fix it.

****

Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a
good partner, you better have a good hand.

*******

What's the difference between biology and
sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, the it is
biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

*****

What is the useless piece of flesh attached to
the penis called - The Man.

******

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best
friend" had never seen a pussy before.

*******

Why is breast milk good for health? Because
it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes
in attractive containers.

******

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as
a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" God said,
"Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".

********

Why was two-piece bikini invented? To
separate meat section from the dairy section.

********

All men are terrorists. They always attack
women on their twin towers and destroy their pentagon.

******

Man was lying nude on the beach. A sexy babe
starts playing tabla on his butt. Man: What are you doing?
Girl: Playing tabla. Man turns over and says, "Can you play flute?"

******

Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out
with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor
and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every
month"