WHAT DO RETIRED PEOPLE DO ALL DAY?

What to do when you retire!

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went into town and went into a shop.

I was only in there for about 5 minutes, when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said;

"Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a "Turd".

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So, I called him a "s---head".

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then, he started a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care.

I came into town by bus.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

It is important at my age.....

 

An elderly man in Norfolk had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, Horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped  and  fixed up for swimming when it was built. 
 One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't  been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket  to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting  and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of Young  women  skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and  they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him,

"We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned,

"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up, he said,

"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral:   Old men can still think fast!