Stress relief...

A married man was asked to perform his SWOT

(Strength, Weakness,
Opportunity , Threat) Analysis...

He said, my strength is my wife.

My weakness is my neighbor's wife.
Opportunity comes when the neighbor goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out !!!

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 Stress reliever # 1

 Wife: You always carry my photo in your bag to the office.

 Why? Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
 yourpicture and the problem disappears.
 Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
 Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,

"What other problem can there be greater than this one" ?


 Stress Reliever # 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.


 Stress Reliever # 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing my boy.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap?


 Stress Reliever # 4

 A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
 my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied,
 sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

 Stress Reliever # 5

 Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
 Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."  '''

 Stress Reliever # 6

 A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
 My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans,"
 said another...
 Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."


 Stress Reliever # 7

 Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
 millionaire?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
 Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some sort of woman" !!!
 Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
 Millionaire: - "A Billionaire" !


 Stress Reliever # 8

 Girl to her boyfriend: one kiss and I'll be yours forever!
 The guy replies: Thanks for the warning !!!


Stress Reliever # 9

 A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face
 or my sexy body?
 He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
 humor baby.


 Stress Reliever # 10

 Its funny when people discuss  "love marriage" over "arranged
 marriage"...  It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself", or
"shoot herself " !!!


 Stress Reliever # 11

 What is a girl friend?
 An addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies
 & division of friends.


 Stress Reliever # 12

 Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's
 largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even
 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard....

 Now, may I request the ladies to keep quite, so that we can hear the
 Niagara  Falls? "