"Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish. The problem with this is that this is the last chicken in the house. I'm afraid I'll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you!"
The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food.
The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer.
A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man's table and says,
"Listen up, pal. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I'll warn you whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs, I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I'll break one of your arms!"
The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum pulls it out and licks it.
He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says,
"Your turn!"
This guy says to his buddy,
"You'll never believe what happened last night."
His buddy says,
"Well then, tell me what happened."
The guy says,
"Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.
She said,
'Can I stay here for a few days?'
I said,
'Of course, you can,' and shut the door."
