Life As An American.
- We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but, mumble through half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner."
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We whip any enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
We run from morning to night trying to keep our "earning power" up with our "yearning power."
We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend five billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armoured car.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.
We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.