1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband
rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and
the
noose.
3. Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
4.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to
him brag about the screwing part.
5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A.
Because not one will stop and ask directions.
8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their
males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts .
9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they
need to wipe.
10. Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
11. Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading
your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and
make their day!! And send this to five bright men who have the sense of
humor to find this funny!
