PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situationyou are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you torun--anywhere. 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you?" 5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left tolearn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eatdinner at 4 P.M.. 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10.You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. 11. You get into heatedarguments about pension plans. 12. You no longer think of speed limits asa challenge. 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter whowalks into the room. 14. You sing along with elevator music. 15. Your eyeswon't get much worse. 16. Your investment in health insurance is finallybeginning to pay off. 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologiststhan the national weather service. 18. Your secrets are safe with yourfriends because they can't remember them either. 19. Your supply of braincells is finally down to manageable size. 20 You can't remember who sentyou this list. And you notice these are all in Big Print for yourconvenience.