XXX ADULT PUNS!

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill's now
Two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.

Analogy:
The study of ass holes.

In Germany, paramedics rescued this 40 year-old man who got his manhood
stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
The man told authorities his relationship with his vacuum cleaner was purely
sexual.
He didn't want any attachments.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.

Two old friends met at the golf course.
"Hey, how's it going?" asked the first.
"Not so good," answered the second. "My wife's divorcing me."
"Why that's terrible!" said the first. "What happened?"
The second replied,
"I made a five and half footer on the eighteen green."
"So what's wrong with making a putt?" asked the first.
The second replied,
"It wasn't a putt, It was a brunette."

Limbaugh Inspirational Thought of the Day:
Sluts & Marriage:
"A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin.
If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed."

A man was sitting on his front porch one morning while a young couple was
moving in next door.
The husband of the couple opened the moving van, removed a hammock and
proceeded to set it up in the back yard.
Meanwhile, his wife was working feverishly unloading boxes.
After a while, the young lady emerged from the house with a cold beer and a
pillow and gave them to her husband.
She then proceeded to cut the grass and clean up the yard.
The man couldn't believe what he was seeing,
So, he walked next door to give the husband a piece of his mind.
"Look at you," he said, "Sacking out in your hammock while your wife does
all the work. You ought to be hung!"
The neighbour replied,
"I am, my friend.I am"

Things you learn in Porn films:
Men are never impotent.


Zundell comes home from Yeshiva, and asks his father,
"Papa what's fornication?"
 Papa gets embarrassed, and suggests Zundell should ask Mama.
Zundell goes to the kitchen and asks Mama,
"Mama, what's fornication?"
Mama says,
"Go and ask Bubby, she'll tell you."
Zundell goes to Bubby, and asks,
"Bubby what's fornication?"
Bubby says,
"Come here, Tatallah."
She leads him to her closet, opens the door, takes out a beautiful gown, and
says,
"This, Tatellah, is for-an-occasion!"

I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage
direction.
In my script it clearly said,
"Enter Juliette from the rear."