XX ADULT PUNS!

Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any
Naughty girls don't really give a sh*t


Nymphomania:
An ailment in which the patient enjoys being bedridden.

A guy met a girl in a bar and asked,
"May I buy you a drink?"
"Okay. But it won't do you any good."
A little later, he asks,
"May I buy you another drink?"
"Okay. But it won't do you any good."
He invites her up to his apartment and she replies,
"Okay. But it won't do you any good."
They get to his apartment and he says,
"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife."
She says,
"Oh, that's different. Send her in."

Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.

Have you heard about the new 'Mint flavoured birth control pill for women
that they take immediately before sex? They're called 'Predickamints'

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh
"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over
twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Jim, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't
have been bigger than a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the
floor laughing.
Ten minutes later, she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her
composure.
 "I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as
a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what
seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Jim replied.
She ran out of the room.