XXX ADULT PUNS!

What do you call a coke bottle full of bees?
A West Virginia Vibrator

Sam was furious when he found out the checking account was empty.
When he asked Annie, she simply said,
"It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled Sam.
"In bed," Annie explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years.
Now, it's my turn."

A lion was addicted to Internet smut for many years.
When his computer crashed one day, he decided to finally become Porn Free.

Two good ol' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking
one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at the local Nissan
plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your
trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she
got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and
squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says,
"Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

Balsam:
To screw around a little.

We recently conducted a poll as to whether men prefer women with large
thighs or women with thin thighs.
The results were pretty surprising.
10 percent of those men surveyed preferred women with large thighs.
10 percent of the men preferred women with thin thighs.
And the other 80 percent preferred what's in-between.

A new report found that high schools across the country are not doing enough
to teach kids about safe sex.
But on the bright side, it looks like we're getting a fifth season of 'Teen
Mom'.

A state trooper notices a car weaving in the road, and when he pulls it over
a beautiful woman gets out.
She is clearly under the influence, but just to make sure he gives her the
breathalyzer test.
Sure enough, she's over the limit,
So, the trooper says,
"Madam, you've had a couple of stiff ones.
"Oh," says the lady, "it shows that too?"

Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny died?
Somebody put his batteries in backward, and he kept coming, and coming, and
coming.