Helpful Hints!

Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave.
If the chocolate melts, you will know that the microwaves are escaping
And
It is time to have the oven serviced.

A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock
Will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.
Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the
stain in permanent ink pen so that when you remove the garment from the
washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that
it has gone.

Lose weight quickly by eating raw meat and rancid tuna.
It was found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled a person to lose 12
pounds in only 2 days.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe
whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

High blood pressure sufferers:
Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
Thus, reducing the pressure in your veins.

Olympic athletes:
Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply
running a little slower and letting someone else win.

Heavy smokers:
Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes.
Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your
ceiling.