XXX ADULT PUNS!

What did the teacher do for the girl who was having trouble with sex
education?
He kept her in class and pounded it into her.

AiRPLANE BLONDE:
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

A woman brought a picture into a frame shop to be framed.
"I have just the thing," the shopkeeper said.
He disappeared into the back room and returned with several frames.
"Which one would you like?" he asked.
"The burgundy one," the woman answered.
Thinking about how it would be fastened to a wall, the shopkeeper turned the
frame over, studied the back and said to the woman,
"Do you want a screw for this frame?"
The woman gasped and bellowed,
"What kind of girl do you think I am?"

Things you learn in Porn films:
Men always pull out.

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,
"I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh NO! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less
attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat?!?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look
larger than you really are."
"I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"

Husband:
"I want to make love with you in the worst way."
Wife:
"You've been doing that for years!"

The husband was perusing a detailed sex manual and his wife asked him why.
He replied that he was tired of being in the same old rut.
"But I don't understand," she protested, "I thought we had a very good sex
life."
"Well," replied the husband, "let me put it to you another way."

It's called the Wonder Bra because when you take it off
You wonder where her boobs went.

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was
about to have a heart transplant.
The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who
was going to perform the operation and said,
"Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied,
"Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health apart from her
heart. How long has she been in the business?" The patient's friend replied,
"She's been working since she was 18 years old, but what's that got to do
with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 18 years and hasn't
rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

The medieval prostitute worked six knights a week.