PARAPROSDOKIAN ...

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a
sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes
the reader or listener to re frame or reinterpret the first part.

It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes
producing an anticlimax.

 ?    Do not argue with an idiot.

He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

?    The last thing I want to do is hurt you.

But it's still on the  list.

 ?    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

?    We never really grow up,

We only learn how to act in public.

?    War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

?    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

?    Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',

And then  proceed to tell you why it isn't.

?    A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a  train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station.

?    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,

But it  takes a whole box to start a campfire?

?    Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they
can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them
fish.

?   I  thought I wanted a career,

Turns out I just wanted pay checks.

?    Whenever I fill out an application,

In the part that says "If an  emergency, notify:"

I put "DOCTOR".

?    I didn't say it was your fault,

I said I was blaming you.

?    Behind every successful man is his woman.

Behind the fall of a  successful man is usually another woman.

?    You don't need a parachute to skydive.

You only need a parachute  to skydive twice.

?    The voices in my head may not be real,

But they have some good  ideas!

?    Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home,

Even if you wish they were.

?    There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down

So  they can't get away.

?    I always take life with a grain of salt,

Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

 ?    When tempted to fight fire with fire,

Remember that the Fire  Department usually uses water.

 ?    You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 ?    To be sure of hitting the target,

Shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

?    If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes,

Why do some  people have more than one child?