XX - Adult Puns!

William Shakespeare's Bottom really made an ass of himself.

The first year student had just gotten a beat up old VW beetle from his parents.
He took it for a spin but misjudged the curve and overturned the car
directly between the house of Mr. And Mrs. Smith and Mr. And Mrs.
Balls.
Luckily, he was pulled out by the Smiths.

The one thing worse than a piano out of tune is:
An organ that goes flat in the middle of a piece.

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up.
"Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked.
"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it
seems to bleed for hours," she replied. "Do you think I might be a
haemophiliac?"
"Well," the doctor answered, "Haemophilia is a genetic disorder and it
is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a
haemophiliac.
Tell me, how much do you lose when you have your period?" the doctor
inquired. After calculating for a moment the hooker replied,
"Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess!"