XX - Adult Jokes

Don't be calling me a whore.
It's politically incorrect.
I'm a Testicle Drainage Technician.

Two guys were arguing at a table in a restaurant one day.
"I say God is more like an architect!" said one of the guys.
"Take a woman for example, the way she is designed with flawless
beauty and divine curves."
"No," argues the other guy, "God is more like a contractor! After the
designed is drawn up, the contractor then has to make it all fit
together properly with little changes here and there!"
"Let's ask Connie!" suggests the first guy.
Connie is their waitress and friend.
When she came by their table, they asked her for her opinion on the matter.
"Well," Connie replied, "I think God is more like the city counsel."
The guys looked at each other with blank stares!
"Why?" they both blurted out at the same time.
"Who else", Connie struggled to keep from laughing, "Who else would
put a sewer plant so close to the playground?"

Virgin squaw:
Wouldn't Indian.

One day God came into the garden and found Adam sitting on the side of
a grassy knoll. "Hey Adam," God began in His normal friendly way, "Why
are you so red-faced?"
Adam answered,
"Well, Eve and I were making love here and didn't hear you come in
until the last moment, a little embarrassing, that's all!"
"Oh sorry," God said, "Next time I'll make more noise as I move about
the garden. And speaking of Eve, where is she right now?"
Adam replied,
"Oh, she's down at the water's edge kind of cleaning herself up. You
know, like a douche sort of thing."
"Oh No!" Exclaimed God. "Now all the fish are going to smell like that!"

When your co-worker fails to show up for work, it's a bad idea to go
to your boss and ask,
"Jack off today?"

A dental student and his bride spent their honeymoon in a romantic
mountain cabin. When they got there, they noticed a few things had
been "pre-arranged" by some of his classmates back at the dental
school.
The salt and sugar had been switched from their rightful containers.
The toothpaste and the tube of lubricating jelly had been switched
out, and the bed had been short-sheeted.
They spent their honeymoon having to "put up" with most of the
trickery the other dental students had thought up!
When they returned home, his class threw a party for them.
During the party, someone started shouting,
"Speech, Speech" to the guy.
So finally, he got up and started to speak.
"You know, those things you guys did up at the cabin were mostly cute
and fun to deal with, but I'm going to kill whoever put the Novocaine
in the Vaseline!"