XX - Adult Puns!

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's
morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities,
but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
One day, she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after
she saw his old pickup parked in front of the small town's only bar
one afternoon.
She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing
it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned
and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, nor deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of
Mildred's house, and left it there all night.
You gotta love George!

What do you call a gay dentist?
The tooth fairy!

Morry was not having a good day on the golf course.
After he missed a twelve inch putt, his partner asked him what the problem was.
"It's the wife" said Morry. " As you know, she's taken up golf, and
since she's been playing, she's cut my sex down to once a week."
"Well you should think yourself lucky," said his partner. "She's cut
some of us out altogether!"

Sheriff walks up to a gay cowboy, and says,
"Partner, you've got 5 minutes to blow this town."
Gay cowboy looks around slowly and says,
"This is a pretty big town, I'll need a couple of hours."

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel.
He got in his room and opened up the Gideon's Bible to page 1, then
called the front desk and asked the hat check girl to come up to his
room for dinner.
After a while he started making passes,
She stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man.
"It's OK," he replied, "it's written in the Bible."
So, after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see where
in the Bible it says it's okay to have wild, passionate sex.
The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page
where someone had written in pencil:
"The hat check girl puts out!"

An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems...
Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya at teyhk a look, if ya woot'.
So, the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
'Incredible' he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'
Tentatively, he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a
£10 pound note appears.
'This is amazing!'exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?'
'Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man! 'shrieks the patient.
The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and
another and another and another, etc...
Finally, the last note comes out and no more appear.
'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest,
how moch was in dare den?'
The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says,
'£1,990 exactly.'
'Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman 'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand..'

A man was admitted to the hospital suffering from premature ejaculation.
The doctors said it was touch and go.

Chestnut:
A man who loves topless dancers.