Puns for those with a higher IQ

 Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .

 A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

 Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

 Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

 A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

 A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

 What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

 She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

 With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

 Every calendar's days are numbered.

 A lot of money is tainted -  Taint yours and taint mine.

 A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

 Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 Acupuncture is a jab well done.