Jest Jokes...

ROMANCE, SENIOR-STYLE.

An older couple were lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk.

She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get
back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said : "Then you use to bite my neck"

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

 Two manufacturers requiring a private secretary called in a Psychologist.

After testing more than thirty applicants, the psychologist eliminated
all but three of them.

In the final test, the first girl was called in.

"How much is three and three?" the dome-prober asked.
"Six," she replied.

The second girl was asked the same question and replied,
"It could be thirty-three."

The third one answered,
"It could be six and it could be thirty-three."

When the girls left the room, the psychologist turned proudly to the
partners and said,
"That's logic for you.
You noted that the first girl had the obvious answer,
The second girl showed more imagination,
The third showed both practicality and imagination.
Now which girl will you hire?"

The partners moved over to the opposite corner of the room, conferred
briefly and then announced their decision.
"We'll take the busty blonde in the tight sweater."

It's a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes.
We should wait awhile for the dust to settle.

I see that America has declared war on Iceland.
Apparently, they are accusing them of harbouring a "weapon of ash eruption".

It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread
over Europe.

Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire.
This has insurance scam written all over it.

Iceland,
We wanted your cash, not your ash.

Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup.
I know, it's a no-fly zone.

Richard Curtis is working on a new ROM-com about people stuck in an
airport who fall in love.
The working title is "Lava Actually".

I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of
frozen sausages, a chocolate gateaux and some fish fingers.
I realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.