Puns of the Day...

There's a history of cross-over artists in many musical genres.
Even George Gershwin occasionally strayed into other markets.
In fact, he sometimes mixed it up quite a bit, as he did in one of his
most famous albums, "Rap CD & Blues."

An archer missed the target because he didn't understand the science
of arrow dynamics.

The astronauts in the Sea of Tranquility were amazed to discover that
the moon actually did contain large underground deposits of cheese.
Once outside the landing module, they climbed into the rover and drove
across the lunar surface to obtain samples...
Mission Control asked them,
"How's it going up there."
Came the reply,
"It's a bries"

Did you hear about the blonde that wore union pants because her best
friend was having labor pains.

This woman was talking to her friend when she got back from her recent
trip to Spokane, Washington.
Her friend asked her how she liked Spokane.
She answered,
"I don't know, I never got there."
So, the friend says,
"You never got there... What do you mean?"
She answers,
"You know me, I have to stop at every rest area and they all say
'clean bathrooms', well, it takes longer that you think!"

When the action starts at sea, each navy prefers its own drink.
The British head for rum;
The French head for wine;
The Germans head for beer, and
The Italians head for port.

My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three.
When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed.
Wanting to find out what was the matter, his mother asked,
"Chris, what happened today to upset you so much?"
He answered,
"It's not fair -- I'm not allowed to go to the library."
His mother became very concerned and asked,
"Why aren't you allowed to go to the library?"
With a tearful reply he said,
"Because, in order to go to the library you have to have supervision,
and I wear glasses!"

Old laser physicists never die,
They just become incoherent.

Susie was a typical '60s protester, and one of those who enjoyed the
protests for the sheer joy of protesting as much as for the causes she
supported with her actions. Naturally, the war in Vietnam was the
single biggest focus of her protests, and one week she signed up to
join a group who were going to show their distaste for killing by
throwing flowers--wasn't the '60s the era of "flower power"?--at the
Pentagon.
But ten minutes into the demonstration, as Susie threw the purple
flowers she'd brought with her, one of the organizers came and yanked
her away from the front line, telling her reprimandingly,
"Didn't we make it clear? This is strictly a non-violet demonstration!"

Mutant:
mother's sister after her stroke

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
So, the both started yelling,
"Together! Together!"

I witnessed a robbery in a fabric factory and immediately called the police.
They caught the culprit and held me as a material witness.

While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the
space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies.
One of the engineers had asked me to get a new dictionary for him.
The request form said,
"State reason this item is needed."
I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost," or "The cover is
falling off."
Instead, he replied,
"My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'"
He got his new dictionary!

When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty.
"On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no
pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your
pain level is now?"
She shook her head.
"Oh, I don't know. I'm not good with math."