Joke Of The Day

The ATO decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the ATO office.
> >
> >The ATO auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his lawyer.
> >
> >The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
> >full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
> >gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable.'
> >
> >'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Ralph. 'How about a
> >demonstration?'
> >
> >The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
> >
> >Ralph says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
> >eye.'
> >
> >The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'No way! It's a bet.'
> >
> >Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
> >
> >The auditor's jaw drops.
> >
> >Ralph says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
> >other eye.'
> >
> >The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
> >
> >Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
> >
> >The stunned auditor now realises he has wagered and lost three grand,
> >with Ralph's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
> >
> >'Want to go double or nothing?' Ralph asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand
> >dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
> >wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in
> >between.'
> >
> >The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
> >decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
> >again.
> >
> >Ralph stands beside the desk and tries to make the wastebasket. He ends
> >up peeing all over the desk.
> >
> >The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
> >loss into a huge win.
> >
> > But Ralph's lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.
> >
> >'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
> >
> >'Not really,' says the lawyer.
> >
> >'This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he
> >bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all
> >over an ATO officer's desk; and that you'd be happy about it !!!!!.'