The Atheist

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What
> > powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued
> > walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him.
> > His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. But, he
> > tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
> > Time stopped.
> > The bear froze.
> > The forest was silent.
> > It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
> > exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
> > The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to
> > suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
> > "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest
> > resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke, "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen." ...and ate him.

Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else. - Judy Garland