Weekend Laffs

Subject: A Rose By Any Other Name... <Adult>

A woman was out shopping one day with her son. The boy spotted a man who was
bowlegged. The boy pulled on Mom's hand and said, "Momma, look at the
bowlegged man!"

Mom was mortified and told her son that it was not polite to point to a
person and make that sort of comment. For punishment, the boy had to read a
play by Shakespeare. He couldn't go shopping again until he finished reading
the play.

Finally he finished and his mom took him once again to the mall. Again he
spied a bowlegged man, but remembered what happened the last time. So he
pulled on his mother's hand and said,

"Lo, what manner of men are these, Who wear their balls in parentheses?"

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Subject: More Sunday School

Little Pauly is telling his mother what he learned at Sunday school.
"Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a
rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the
Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people
walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were
saved."

"Now, Pauly, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother
asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd
*never* believe it!"

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Subject: Father Murphy [ADULTISH]

FATHER MURPHY

Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. When he asked
for suggestions about how he might raise money for his church, he was
advised that a man with a horse is never out of money. So he went to a
horse auction. He did not, however, make a good buy; the horse he
bought was a donkey. Nevertheless, he decided to enter the donkey in a
race. The donkey came in third, and the headlines next day read,
"Father murphy's Ass Shows" The Archbishop saw the paper and was greatly
displeased.

In the next race, the donkey came in first. The headlines read,
"Father Murphy's Ass Out Front" The Archbishop was even more upset.
Again Father Murphy entered the donkey in a race. This time he came in
second, and the headlines read, "Father Murphy's Ass Back in Place."

The Archbishop said this is just too much and told Father Murphy
to get rid of the donkey. When he was unable to sell it, he gave it to
Sister Agatha to dispose of at once. Sister Agatha was able to sell the
donkey for $10.00. And the next day, the headlines read, "Sister
Agatha peddles Father Murphy's Ass for $10.00!"

They buried the Archbishop three days later.