Wednesday Laffs!!!

GOLF AND MARRIAGE JUST DONT MIX
 

Bill, the avid golfer got married; the marriage was getting into problems as he was playing golf five days a week. They finally talked about it and Sally asked Bill if he could teach her golf. That way they both could enjoy golf and improve their marriage. Bill argued that golf is a serious game and that she is just trying to destroy the one perfect thing in life. After some arguing, Bill agreed to have her go to the course with him.

They went to the course and Sally signed up to take some lessons with the local pro. The lessons kept going on everyday and Bill was happy she didn't bother him. One day, Bill's buddy Ralph asked him how the marriage was going. Bill replied, "It is great; ever since she started taking golf lessons, she doesn't bother me and lets me play all the golf I want."

Ralph replied with a sad shake of his head, "Really? Then I guess you don't know that she is screwing around with the golf pro!"

Bill's eyes turned red, smoke came out of his ears and he became quite scary. He said, "I knew it couldn't last; I knew Sally would make a mockery of the game!"
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Subject: Blondies Never Fail to make your day.....

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her
boss, always concerned about his employees' well-being, asks
what's wrong.

"Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother
had passed away."

The boss implores her to take the rest of the day off. "We
aren't terribly busy -- just go home and try to relax."

Calmly, the blonde says, "No, I'm better off here. I need a
distraction, so I'd like to stay here if you don't mind."

The boss agrees. "If you need anything, just let me know."

A few hours pass, and the boss decides to check on his
employee. He comes out from his office and sees the blonde
hysterically crying!

"What happened? Are you going to be OK?"

"No..." the blonde whimpered, "I just received a horrible call
from my sister...and she said that her mom died, too!" 
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Subject: Party!

The old perfesser (TOP) went to another retirement party for one of his
associates.... it seems, these days, like another one of his contemporaries
gives up the workload monthly.

Meeting his former Dean at the party, TOP remarked as how he'd been
enjoying his own retirement, now into its severalth year.

"Retirement is wonderful," said the old perfesser. "The best part is waking
up and not having to go to work. In fact, I enjoy it so much that I do it
several times each day."

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Subject: Goat for Dinner!

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While
they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their
son, little Pauly, what they were having.

"Goat," little Pauly replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about
that?"

"Yep," said Pauly. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Might as well have the old
goat for dinner today.'"

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Subject: Credit Card

A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report
it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

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Subject: in passing

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way
around, you're not going anywhere.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

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